When Emirates Airlines asks you to hop on board their A380 for a 5-day trip to Dubai, you don’t think about it. You just do it.

This was a trip of many firsts: my first business class flight. My first time on Emirates Airlines. My first time in the UAE. My first 15-hour flight. My first time going so far across the globe for such a short time.

I’d say it was my first time being told to put more clothes on, but I popped that cherry in Rome when I held up a long ass line outside the Pantheon so my friend could dig a scarf out of her bag to cover up my cleavage. Ugh.

Emirates Complimentary Black Car Service

First of all, if you book Business Class or First Class, you automatically receive a complimentary black car service within 70 miles of the airport. This was clutch for me since I live an hour outside of Los Angeles and refuse to ask friends for rides to the airport (the 405 is a bitch I wish upon no one ). And after 15 hours of travel, you can expect the same thing in Dubai to your hotel.

Business Class Is AAAAmazing!

There’s really no eloquent way of saying it. Emirates Business Class is fucking ridiculous. That’s it. Story’s over.

But OK, you probably want to know more. So here we go:

You can barely take your seat before a glass of Veuve Cliquot is handed to you. I’m a Champagne freak with a soft spot for “The Veuve,” so this alone won my heart.

The setup in Business Class is superb. The seats are staggered, making for the utmost privacy. I assigned myself a window seat, which is THE BEST seat. Not just because you get a view, but because otherwise you’re in a seat that’s slightly further from the window, or worse, in the chunk of seats in the middle (this one is only ideal if you’re traveling with family). My seat had significantly more privacy than any other option, making it feel like a luxury cocoon.

The seat is packed with features I’ve never come across in all my time flying … Economy. There’s an in-seat minibar that’s stocked with sparkling water, flat water and some soda and juice options. Next to that was the entertainment controller. There’s also a reading light, two USB outlets, a 110v outlet and a headphone jack.

Exploring life's many facets one glass of wine, pair of heels, and yoga class at a time.

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I especially loved the noise-cancelling headphones and 23-inch-wide TV screen. People rant and rave over the ICE Entertainment System. I was underwhelmed truth be heard. I wanted to be able to binge series of shows from beginning to end. I felt like only some seasons were available of shows, so I found myself searching for new things more often than I’d have liked.

Eating and Drinking on Emirates

I don’t even know where to start with this because eating and drinking is my kryptonite. I want all the things and I want them now. Emirates delivers, and then some. The dining situation is ridiculous.

Having boarded my flight in the late afternoon, the first meal I experienced was dinner.

It began with yellow pepper and lemongrass soup with red pepper and herb croutons. Next were pan-fried prawns served on wakame salad with pepper chevre, dressed with wasabi and nigella seeds.

My main course was a melt-in-your-mouth miso-glazed cod atop edamame beans and steamed Kai-lan.

Dessert was a chocolate fudge brownie topped with a salted caramel profiterole, and served with caramel sauce. Airplane dessert never impresses me, but I was into this one. Salted caramel tickles my sweet tooth fancy.

Oh, and to fast forward for a second, breakfast was an eggs Benedict florentine with fruit that actually tasted fresh and a pastry that wasn’t stale and cold.

Now we have to talk about drinks…..

I stuck with wine for the majority of the flight. I started my dining experience with a yummy chardonnay and then turned to the dark side for the rest of the night once my main course came. My attendant made sure to keep my glass of California Cabernet Sauvignon filled up, just the way I like.

After a food coma-induced nap, I woke up and made my way to the crescent-shaped bar on the plane, where small bites like sushi are provided. Yes, I just made sushi a snack item. That’s how elevated this “situation” is.

The bartender was a smiley, effervescent young woman who whipped me up a dirty martini that was SO GOOD. I love martinis, but everywhere I go, they taste like gasoline and get me fucked up after two sips. This one was the perfect combination of drink-drank-drunk and deliciousness.

Sleeping on Emirates

I had a full night’s rest on Emirates thanks to the booze and the seats that lay fully flat. The attendants even make your bed for you. I assumed my typical fetal position as I do at home and snoozed soundly. I really loved that during sleeping hours, the roof of the cabin lit up with tiny lights that resemble stars. They were faint enough not to seem like light.

I DO wish Emirates had provided a more luxurious comforter. The one I was provided, though packaged, was pilled and thin.

Freshening Up on Emirates

Long-haul flights do weird things to your mental and physical state. You go through so many time zones while still wearing the same clothes you boarded in. No matter how cute you look when you step on the plane, you’re going to look like shit after you fester in your seat for a few, never mind 15, hours. And then everyone gets to see you wake up with bed head as you walk to the bathroom in the morning all disoriented.

That’s where Emirates’ toiletry bags win big.

You’re provided a Bulgari toiletry bag that’s customized for both female and male passengers. You can expect a toothbrush, toothpaste, a comb, Bulgari lotion, Bulgari perfume and more. I would have LOVED a face wash in my bag, as well as a facial mist and moisturizer. To me, those are more essential than the perfume, but oh well.

When you go to the bathroom, you can expect a stack of washcloths and a lit magnifying mirror to get yourself back together.

The flight attendants know you’re going to treat the bathroom like your own, so they are careful to clean up after every single person goes in there. Now that’s luxury.

Here’s the funny thing. People kept saying I would NEVER be able to go back from Business Class once I tried it. I whole heartedly agree, but I’m also a lover of deals, and so the very first flight I took post Duabi was…

ON FRONTIER AIRLINES LOL!

Travis and I found roundtrip tickets to Austin, Texas for $44 a person on Frontier ( a.k.a where luxury goes to die). Thankfully, Trav’s height (he’s 6’6’’ and growing every day) got us an upgrade. Ultimately, we each landed our own exit row. I guess the travel gods were on our side.

UPDATE: I started this post a while back, and since then Trav and I got screwed on a flight back from an overseas trip. We were supposed to have Business Class seats and got crammed in Economy with the peasants. All of the crazies were seated in our section and Travis almost had to hold me back after several encounters. Long Live Emirates.